Saturday, January 31, 2009

My fingers are shaking and this will have no edits. They have tried everything medicine has but this infection has taken over and although Dan is still fighting and hanging on, he is dying. I use that word because I am already weary of "he's not going to make it" or "he's not doing well". He was so tired and he told the nurses and doctors he just wanted to "go into a coma" if that meant he's get a rest. He is very comfortable and in no pain. They are giving him drugs to keep his blood pressure up, etc., but it won't be long until his body is too taxed.

I will write more later but I want you all to know how much you all mean to us and how we have felt your love and support in every way. I can say my life will never be the same because of having known and been married to Dan. It would not have been as enriched, although my heart is broken because he is leaving us...he is my hero.

He never wanted people to visit him when he felt terrible or wasn't able to enjoy company, so I know it's the right thing to do to let him rest without too many people seeing him in this state (although my mom, his mom, and his brother are here).

He still looks good to me. Much love, and I am sorry for all of us. Susan

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Dan is not the only hero, you both are. The two of you have faced a this illness head on with amazing grace and courage. Just know that wherever Dan is he takes your love with him. That is a great gift you have given.
We love you both. Dad and Lorraine

Julie said...

Susan
While I never never met you because of my life long friendship with your mother in law, I feel I do.
I have know Dan since the day he was born so I have followed the blog over the past year with admiration and love for the strength and courage the two of you have displayed through this challenging and heart breaking year.
Hold my Lizzy tightly and gather strength from her because that is where Dan got it from.
Know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Julie F.

Whitney said...

I love you so much Susan. I am so sorry it's come to this. We're thinking of you back home.

Anonymous said...

Thoughts and prayers with you.

Dave

Kathy Swift Thompson said...

We are so sad to hear of your news from Lorraine and Jerry. Our thoughts are with you, Susan. But know, that all along you have made the right choices, did the right thing. You sent Dan into the next adventure surrounded by and confident of your love. No greater gift. Well done. Peace and love, Rick and Kathy

"Then as it was, then again it will be. Though the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea." Led Zeppelin, 10 Years Gone

Jack Jodell said...

Susan, you are a real trooper. Your post brought tears to my eyes, and I wish you the very best. You should consider, at a much later date, publishing an account of all you and poor Dan have gone through over the past year. It could prove to be a lasting legacy to him, and an enriching experience for ALL who read it! In the meantime, God bless you both, and...
"Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God,
pray for us sinners, now,
and at the hour of our death. Amen."...

Wes & Donna said...

We are shocked, in disbelief and in mourning for the loss of our Dan. Memories come flooding in - Dan as a little boy who loved to wear a white dress shirt & tie, Dan the viola & piano player at competitions and concerts, Dan's high school graduation-so tall with a mature quietness & wisdom about him, Dan the cartoonist with imagination & humor, Dan & friend Grant - so funny together, Dan from U Penn-so proud of his excellent school and rightly so, Dan the loving brother of Chad & Kathryn and cousin to our daughter Krista-snowball fights, wrestling, board & card games, birthdays & holidays. But, our favorite memory is Dan the husband. Such love between you two. When you came to visit we didn't want you to leave because we enjoyed your humor and love that was so apparent. Susan, we are so proud of you, for your support, encouragement and love to the end. We will miss Dan, but remember, you will always be a part of our family. And now, may God grant you the peace that passes all understanding. Wes & Donna